Happiness is a Song

A few years ago, I was on a road trip with a friend and somewhere about the middle of our trip found myself singing along with the radio. I don't normally sing along when there are others in the car, but we'd ended a conversation and were sort of taking in the sites through the windshield when a song I knew and liked came on the radio, so I chimed in as if no one else was in the car.

Once I caught myself, I apologized to my friend for ruining the song.

"Don't apologize! I like it when people sing, even if they aren't very good."

"Really, why?"

"Because it means they're happy. People sing when they're happy."

I think there was some truth to that. I mean, when I'm furious or upset with traffic, the last thing I do is sing.

I found myself thinking of this conversation tonight because, even during what's been a very tense and anxious time in my home, even though there's been shift for the worse in my teenager's attitude, and even though the majority of our conversations have resulted in an argument, what am I listening to?

I'm listening to the sound of my son's voice coming from his bedroom.

Yes, he's singing.

Kids will carry on with their rebellious attitudes and start as many arguments as they want and claim to hate everything about their lives all day long, I guess (I pray to God that this phase of our relationship passes quickly!).

But after tonight, I believe can get through it knowing that deep down, and especially when he thinks no one is paying attention, the boy is happy enough with his life to sing.

Wordless Wednesday: 11-25-09

And it Felt Good

I had a chance to finally repair the fence in my backyard today.

I don't think I've ever hammered anything so hard in my life! The wood warped a little from being so wet for so long, but the good news is that it is up--for now.

I never realized how good pounding a bunch of nails into a fence felt. Maybe it's because in the past I didn't have so much pent up frustration.

Wordless Wednesday: 11-18-09

Adios, Nor'Ida

What started on Wednesday finally fizzled into a drizzly mist by Saturday afternoon, when the wind began to die down and the floodwater in the streets had time to recede.

The locals have nicknamed this November Nor'easter "Nor'Ida," since the storm began with the remnants of hurricane Ida stalling over our area, then sitting and spinning for days. The kids got a five day weekend out of the deal (school was canceled on Thursday and Friday).

It felt really good to see the sun again when we headed out of the church for home. Too many days of clouds, wind, and rain can really play tricks with your mood.

While it was still pretty damp, I did get some storm clean-up done. The repairs will have to wait until next weekend, but for now, the broken doors have been removed and the fence propped back up so the wood can dry, the front and back yards have been raked, swept and bagged (11 bags of pine straw), and the small piece of siding that blew off the back porch has been reinstalled.

It took me about four hours to get that done, and I still got dinner on the table by 7pm!

I'm pooped, and have a day-long meeting to prepare for tomorrow. I'll try to get this blog caught up later this week when something that resembles "normal" returns to my life.

Dude... Where's my fence?

We're kind of hunkering down for the next day or so. This nor'easter is pounding Virginia Beach right now, canceling schools today and causing problems on the roads and some damage to our homes. By noon yesterday, part of my fence had blown down, and during the course of the day today, I lost two screen doors, and a portion of siding from the back of my house blew off (it's been recovered!).

Thank God I had those dead trees yanked out of here a couple of weeks ago!

I have posted some pictures on Facebook, but I'll go ahead and share them here as well.

You can see both screen doors smashed up from the wind. The one on the far end had actually been latched shut, but a chair blew into it and smashed it.

The other door just got blown so hard by the wind that it broke apart.

David pulled the chair out of this door before I got home.
In the background you can see the two sections of the fence that blew over.

Dude... where's my fence?

Here's one of the trees I had cut down a couple of weeks ago,
when the fence was intact!

I just got the call that schools will be closed again tomorrow due to the weather. We're being warned that there's more heavy wind and rain expected tonight, with an additional 3-5" of rain falling before midnight. I'm hoping the power stays on and that our neighborhood roads don't become too flooded.

The winds are expected to die down during the day tomorrow, with showers off and on all day.

We're safe and sound, thank God. Thank you for keeping us, and our friends and neighbors in your prayers.

Wordless Wednesday: 11-11-09

Six Successful Words

In a "sermonette" delivered to the children of our parish recently, Father Jimmy made a statement that has been ringing so loudly in my head that I cannot stop thinking about how both profound and appropriate it is.

He told the children, "Obedient people succeed. Rebellious people fail."

Wow. Six words that could change the course of a child's life and they almost seemed too simple to be true. And when he continued to explain, he used examples of high school seniors who take a turn for the worse in an effort to "get back" at the school or a teacher or their parents, and how they're usually the ones who do not get to graduate with the friends with whom they've shared four years of high school.

I swear Father Jimmy climbs into my head sometimes and speaks directly to whatever is weighing on my mind, or whatever is going on in my home or in my life.

Grades are an issue these days, as are a few unwise choices resulting in additional lost privileges, and the week was capped off by the loss of yet another job.

I'll spare you the details, but would appreciate your prayers.

One Year Ago Today: 11-4-08

“If there is anyone out there who doubts that America is a place where anything is possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”

-President-Elect
Barack Obama

11/4/08

I'm writing this on 11/5/08 with the intention of posting on 11/4/09.

Alone in front of my TV, laptop open and logged into FaceBook, I waited last night to see if the political machine would devour my vote again this year, or if I'd actually be in a majority of Americans voting for the next President of the United States.

Would this be another chance for the world to ridicule the citizens of our country, accusing us of being idiots because we can't figure out how to work the voting machines in Florida, or stupid because we re-elected a president who had already proved his incompetence?

Would I have to once again attempt to explain to my son how a candidate can indeed win the popular vote but still lose an election? Would the Supreme Court be involved in this one?

Or would I watch history unfold before my eyes?

I was back-and-forth with friends on FaceBook, watching the results roll in on NBC and monitoring local elections to see if I had picked a winner at home. It all seemed so slow, so with time zones being what they are, I braced myself for a late night.

At 11:00 p.m., our local news began, only to immediately throw the broadcast to the network. The next thing I saw was Barack Obama's face, with the words "Obama Elected President."

The same "idiots" that had put a man who causes my father to swear at the mere sight of him in office, the same "stupid" people who had previously voted for a man who promised to bring dignity back to an office tarnished by the dalliances of the previous president, the same nation that had believed in weapons of mass destruction, a connection between Iraq and Al-Qaeda, and gave the newspapers of the world an opportunity to ridicule us as a nation by asking how so many citizens of one country could be so stupid, became heroes in my eyes when they voted for change and elected Barack Obama.

Was I pleased? I was. I had never been a Bush fan, and was so soured on the political process after the last two presidential elections that I had serious doubts about the process, and had lost hope in not only the power of the American voter, but the direction in which this country was heading. Gas prices were bouncing from one extreme to another, the economy was in the tank, two wars are still raging, and the government in charge of selling this nation on a "morality" platform had been caught up in so many lies that I stopped counting.

But I kept my political views rather quiet until the end. When you consider the voice bloggers have in the country nowadays, that wasn't exactly an easy task.

I mentioned that I wondered if I would see an historic election earlier in this post, and I did. I know the press went wild over the election of the first African-American President, which was an enormous step forward in this country, and something I never imagined I would see in my lifetime.

David had gone to bed before the election was called, so I left him a note that read "Obama won. Looks like tissues for Nicolai." (Nicolai is a friend of his who said he'd cry if McCain lost).

Yes, this was a victory for democrats, it was a victory for African-Americans, and it was a victory for voices both young and old who were ready for a changes in policy, economy and government in general. It was all of those things, and it was an amazing night that gave me hope that if we can turn our government around, we can move our country in the right direction. Yes, we did.

I voted for the guy from Scranton who knows foreign policy, and the man who so many said didn't have enough experience to win. I voted for the team that had the answers to the questions in the debates that I wanted to hear. I voted for my son's future. I voted for the security of this country and a responsible end to a war that has kept so many troops on foreign land for far too long. I voted to bring them back alive. I voted against an administration that created the "Bush Doctrine," and its namesake, whose irrational and irresponsible leadership put Americans at risk all over the world. I voted against a party whose best bet wound up with the lowest approval rating of any president since the dawn of approval ratings. Yes, he did.

I voted for a man who grew up poor, sought education, and through determination and the ability to assemble the right people to do the right jobs, won the highest office in the land.

But to tie this ramble into the theme of this blog: I voted for the son of a single parent who chose a single dad as his running mate.

In my house, that's proof that the sky is the limit... for either of us.

Yes, we can.

Wordless Wednesday: 11-04-09

National Adoption Month 2009

November is National Adoption Month, when we have an opportunity to raise awareness of the children who are still waiting for forever families. In preparing for this post, I ran into a video on YouTube that I thought said it better than I ever could, and showed the changes taking these children into our hearts and homes can bring. I loved the before and after angle, and hope you enjoy it, too.

Trick or Tweet

You may have noticed in the sidebar that I've opened another Twitter account specifically to feed into this blog. While I still tweet @getaroom, it's primarily targeted at the hospitality industry and people that love travel and hotels, and has, for the most part, become the account for the company that employs me.

Tweets @RamblingDad will focus on parenting and adoption, and will become my "personal" Twitter account. I'll still, when deals for the hotels with which I'm affiliated have offers that are designed to be shared through Twitter and Facebook accounts, be able to share those offers with you @RamblingDad.

Feel free to follow me there, and let me know if you're a reader of "Ramblings" when you do!

Wordless Wednesday: 10-28-09

www.jilltracy.com

St. Demetrios the Myrrhbearer

It's October 26, the day that the Orthodox Church commemorates Saint Demetrios. It's also the third anniversary of the day I received the final order of adoption in the mail when I returned home from a Divine Liturgy celebrating this great saint's feast day.

I don't believe in coincidences, so I got the message loud and clear. I baptized David as Demetrios (read the account of David's baptism and the significance of St. Demetrios in our family here).

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with St. Demetrios, here's the information I pulled from the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese website at www.goarch.org.

Saint Demetrios was a Thessalonian, a most pious son of pious and noble parents, and a teacher of the Faith of Christ. When Maximian first came to Thessalonica in 290, he raised the Saint to the rank of Duke of Thessaly. But when it was discovered that the Saint was a Christian, he was arrested and kept bound in a bath-house. While the games were under way in the city, Maximian was a spectator there. A certain friend of his, a barbarian who was a notable wrestler, Lyaeus by name, waxing haughty because of the height and strength of his body, boasted in the stadium and challenged the citizens to a contest with him. All that fought with him were defeated. Seeing this, a certain youth named Nestor, aquaintance of Demetrios', came to the Saint in the bath-house and asked his blessing to fight Lyaeus single-handed. Receiving this blessing and sealing himself with the sign of the precious Cross, he presented himself in the stadium, and said, "O God of Demetrios, help me!" and straightway he engaged Lyaeus in combat and smote him with a mortal blow to the heart, leaving the former boaster lifeless upon the earth. Maximian was sorely grieved over this, and when he learned who was the cause of this defeat, he commanded straightway and Demetrios was pierced with lances while he was yet in the bath-house, As for Nestor, Maximian commanded that he be slain with his own sword.

Apolytikion in the Third Tone

The world has found in you a great champion in time of peril, as you emerged the victor in routing the barbarians. For as you brought to naught the boasts of Lyaios, imparting courage to Nestor in the stadium, in like manner, holy one, great Martyr Demetrios, invoke Christ God for us, that He may grant us His great mercy.

Kontakion in the Second Tone

God, who gave you invincible power and with care kept your city invulnerable, royally clothed the Church in purple with the streams of your blood, for you are her strength, O Demetrios.

www.goarch.org

Three is a Magic Number

While David's been with me since March of 2004, today actually marks the third anniversary of the final order of adoption.

Looking back, it still seems like it took forever for that day to arrive.

Adoption proceedings actually began in July 2004, when David was officially eligible to be adopted. And while a dual plan was in place for him from the time he was placed with his first foster family in 2003 (there was a plan for him to be returned to his biological parent, and at the same time Social Services was working a plan to permanently place him with an adoptive parent, which I had agreed to be should his biological parent not achieve the goals approved by the court in order for him to return). It took nearly two and a half years to complete the adoption process, which the judge in this case informed me was a long time, and apologized for the delays we had experienced while papers were being shuffled from one desk to another.

So, in the time that it took for me to gain permanency for David, he had gone from being an eleven year-old boy to a fourteen year-old teenager, from his last year of elementary school to his final year of middle school, from GameBoy to a cell phone, from being a "wizard" to being an altar boy, and from baby teeth to braces.

I'd gone from my early forties to my mid-forties, and somehow dropped about twenty pounds along the way.

While foster parents choosing to adopt a child in their care should expect some time to pass while their adoption is being finalized, please don't think they all take as long as our case. I gathered from the judge during that last hearing when he asked "Why are you here, again?" that he had assumed our case had been approved and finalized months before that court date.

Maybe it's because we were in a foster situation for so long before the adoption was finalized, but it feels like we've been "official" for a lot longer than three years! I know that in time when I look back it'll seem like those years flew by, but for now it feels like it's taken forever to get through them.

Many families celebrate the date their adoption was finalized by having an "Adoption Day" celebration, which we do to a pretty small degree. After all, we didn't even know it happened until three days later, and I found out about it while reading my mail in the bathroom!

We've just had his sixth birthday celebration together, and are approaching our sixth Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and in a few short months we'll be celebrating our sixth "DDB Day" to mark the day in March that he was placed in my home and in my care.

We do seem to have finally hit some sort of stride with each other, where conversations don't always have to end in an argument, and actions don't constantly require punishment. There's still some tweaking to do as I attempt to prepare him for what lies ahead for him as he becomes a young man, but for now I'm good with taking a moment to reflect on the past few years, thank God for the miraculous way in which he brought us together, allowing us to live long enough to see the day that we were finally pronounced "father and son," and giving us both the strength to grow into the people--and the family--that we are today.